Do you find yourself making excuses to not see a friend? Does your relationship with your friend get you down? Does your friendship leave you feeling drained?
Top London Life Coach, Carole Ann Rice reveals 5 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship and how to deal with it:
LIVING IN DREAD – you dread meeting the other person and you don’t like spending time with them. Whether you are going out to a family meeting or out for dinner with a friend – if you’re worried about seeing them – it’s a red flag. A relationship should be a positive experience, if they make you feel uncomfortable then minimise the time you spend with them.
BELITTLING – although joking about and laughing is a healthy part of a relationship, if they make you the butt of the jokes constantly and belittle you, it’s a bad sign. These things are sure to slowly wear you down and make you feel badly about yourself when you don’t deserve it.
DON’T CARE – they don’t care about you or are not interested in what you have to say, they’re only interested in off-loading their own problems onto you. If they don’t ask you anything about yourself, it shows that they’re only using you as a way to blow off steam or vent to. A relationship is meant to be a two-way street and if they refuse to listen when you want to talk – it isn’t healthy.
NOT SORRY – they constantly do things and don’t apologise for it. Your time is valuable and worthy of consideration, so if your friend is always turning up late or showing you up, something needs to change. If you’ve purposely set aside time and they can’t appreciate that, then you need to take a stand. Once is an accident but on more than one occasion is definitely part of a toxic relationship.
YOU’RE UNABLE TO CHANGE – they dampen your success by refusing to cooperate with your wants, putting down your plans and goals, and outright prevent you from doing what you want to do. Your success is equally as important as you are and is a big part of what makes you special. If someone is preventing you from being a better person, it’s a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE:
Make a stand – don’t be complacent because it is only enabling their bad behaviour. It’s important that you take responsibility and be the force to change the situation. Tell them calmly and amicably how their behaviour has made you feel and that you will not tolerate it. If they do not change, you will have to cut them out of your life.
Educate them – often toxic people tend to be unaware of themselves. The pain that they can cause others will continue on as they don’t know they are doing it. Unfortunately, it’s quite likely that they are unchangeable – we have to move on and change ourselves. We can’t change them, but we can change how we react to their behaviour.