Do you lack motivation to move forward because you always find yourself filled with self doubt? Do you find it difficult to make the simplest decisions because of the fear of being wrong?
Self belief is like a shot of optimism to our hearts. It allows us to feel comfortable popping to the shops without make up, say no to a difficult friend and apply for the job of our dreams. It encourages us to take risks and risk reaps rewards.
Building self-esteem takes time, but it’s worth it.
It is very likely that something happened to you in your childhood that caused you to have a poor opinion about yourself.
Maybe someone said something that upset you and this deep feeling left an imprint in your mind. You started to dwell on that thought. This caused you to think about yourself in a negative way and see yourself in a completely different light. Subsequently your confidence dropped and your whole mindset shifted. You started to see the world in a different light.
As you went on to live with your low self-esteem, you strengthened this new mindset. The more limiting beliefs you introduced to your mind, the lower your self-esteem fell. Eventually you formed such a strong filter in your mind, that it started to prevent almost all positive things, events or circumstances reaching you.
You trained this filter to accept only negative things in your life. Things that confirmed your status quo.
Now whenever a circumstance or event does not fit in with your low self-esteem, you cannot notice it. This causes you to miss out on good things in life. You feel that you are unlucky, while everyone else is enjoying life.
You will never experience a truly exciting life unless you reprogram your old filter.
By including the following steps in your daily routine you will start to achieve exactly that.
Use Positive Affirmations: By using positive affirmations you make your mind believe that you are a completely different person.
Take Responsibility: You have to understand that YOU are 100% responsible for your life. Nobody else is. You should not blame your parents, spouse, friends or job. You should realise that you have made all the decisions yourself. Maybe your decisions were not the smartest ones, but that’s okay. You will consciously change them following these steps.
Control your Thoughts: Most people do not control their thoughts. Their thoughts control them. If you introduce a thought in your mind and hold it for long enough, it will expand.
You started with one thought about low self-esteem, and dwelled on it. That negative thought kept expanding, invited similar thoughts and formed your entire mindset. But you are now aware of that, which means you can start to consciously control what you are thinking about.
Be a Copycat: Choose some person that seems very confident to you. It could be a celebrity, someone you see on a regular basis or even someone you know. Observe everything that person does and copy him/her.
This will give you many clues as to how confident people act. You will understand how to behave in a way that will make you succeed in building self-confidence.
Try to Focus on Good Things not Bad: Give your attention only to things that make you feel great. The more you focus on positive things, the less space you will leave for negative thoughts that maintain your low self-esteem.
Change your Actions: Instead of your usual routine, replace some (or most, if you can) of your actions with their opposites.
For example as soon as you come home, you start thinking about how miserable you are. Instead of doing that, as soon as you come home, put your favourite music on. This will break the chain of your daily routine, introducing a completely different action. When you gradually replace most of your actions with their opposites, your mindset will change to a positive one.
Fake It: Even if you are not confident, start acting like you are. This will greatly assist you in building self-esteem. You will trick your mind into thinking that you are already confident, so your mind will try its best to keep up with this change.
The more you fake it, the quicker you will succeed in building self-esteem.
Get Organised: Instead of living in chaos, organise your day. Plan your day in advance. This will re-organise your mind to think in a more efficient way. It will also leave no space for a negative self-talk.
Look Good: No matter what your reasoning might be, looking horrible negatively impacts your mood. It does not matter if you are alone at home and not intending to go out. Looking good still counts. If you take care of your body it will take care of you. You should take time to care for your body. If you do that, your confidence level will jump to a degree you have never expected.
Exercise: A daily workout will de-stress your body and mind and will make you feel great. You will definitely become more confident because you will feel that you are getting more fit and energetic.
Smile: When you smile it shows that you are happy, successful and confident.
The act of smiling relaxes you and makes you see more positive aspects of life. This immensely helps in building self-esteem.
Think Outside-the-Box: Instead of thinking “I am such a failure” think “How can I become more successful?” This lets your mind stop maintaining your current lifestyle and start thinking how to improve it. Whenever you catch yourself thinking “I am so miserable” replace this with a question “How can I feel happy today?” This will help you in building more self belief.
Set Goals: Start planning your life in advance. Take a diary, select a date that suits you and write down the goal to be achieved by that date. Then divide that goal into smaller steps and enter each step into the appropriate diary page.
Once you achieve the goal you will prove to yourself that you’ve gained more confidence. You will realise that the process of building self-esteem is in progress.
Do Something Unusual: At least once a week do something you have never done before. Go to a confidence boosting seminar, book a holiday even if it’s just a weekend away, book a guitar lesson the options are limitless. This pushes you out of your comfort zone and lets you experience how it feels to be a different person.
Do Nothing: You should find some time to break away from all the activity of everyday life. Try to find a quiet spot to reflect on your inner self.
Do you notice some changes in your life? Do you feel more confident?
If the answer is yes, keep doing whatever you do. If the answer is negative, then you should ask yourself what is stopping you from building self-esteem.
You should ask this question persistently until you recognise the block in your life. Once you find it, try to come up with ways to overcome it.
Visualise: Every morning or evening (or both!) visualise yourself being very confident. How would you behave? How would you look? How would you feel? Try to visualise every detail of a confident you. This way you will unconsciously set a goal for yourself to become a confident person.
Building self-esteem can be hard, but you can make it fun, you simply need to believe you can do it and your body will loyally follow the situation your mind has created for it.
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.” Helen Keller
Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re probably right” – Henry Ford