It can be easy to feel alone and unloved on Valentine’s day, especially during these times of the pandemic, when we may be separated from those we love. However, when you have a great relationship with yourself, you are never alone and never unloved. The key is in making every day with yourself a love affair from the heart, so that your whole life becomes a fulfilling romance. With this in mind, ask yourself the following questions:
When was the last time you looked deeply into your own eyes and said, “I love you and I’m here for you?” What kind of a relationship do you have with yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you actively seek to support your dreams and goals and cherish the person you are? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?
How many of us really answer “Yes” to any of these questions? And yet we need to be able to answer positively, as how we feel about ourselves is fundamental to how we live our lives. Every relationship we have, every opportunity we choose to take (or don’t take) is determined first and foremost by the relationship we have with our self. We are amazing and extraordinary human beings and yet many of us fail to notice our own beauty, strengths, talents or the unique gifts that we have to offer.
Give yourself the gift of love
This Valentine’s Day make sure that you give yourself the gift of love. It’s wonderful to tell the people closest to us that we love and appreciate them – but what about you? When was the last time you said something really good about yourself or looked in the mirror and smiled instead of frowned?
Loving and respecting who you are builds the foundations for an amazing life. When you love something, you take care of it. Things we don’t like become neglected, unused and eventually forgotten about.
So, how do you fall in love with yourself and be your own Valentine?
The answer is exactly the same way as you fall in love with anyone else. You begin by a willingness to open your heart to love. You decide that you will look for the gorgeous and the great in who you are. That you will listen to the whispers of your soul as they invite you dance with your life and even if you don’t know the steps, you tell yourself that you will make them up as you go along. Loving yourself requires you to be there for you, to tune into your heart and navigate your life by the moments that light you up.
Love is saying “I DO” to YOU.
Love shows up in the way you move, the words you write, the songs you sing, the way you dress and the sparkle that shines from your eyes. Love is also deeply discovered in those moments when the storm clouds roll in and your days seem shaken, unresolved, out of balance and too much to bear. Perhaps this is where our most enduring love and commitment to loving ourselves is found. The deepest love is discovered when you choose to stand with you, rather than abandon you. When you stand your ground with courage and conviction and decide that no matter what else might be happening, you’d rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world. That’s LOVE!
Love yourself unconditionally
Healthy, successful and sustainable relationships are built and developed from the promises that we keep, the love that we give and receive, the actions we take, the thoughts we think and the integrity we bring. Whenever we rely on someone else to make us feel loved, we are dependent on that person to make us feel good. This keeps us searching outside of ourselves for someone else to affirm that we are valued, adored and loved. Ultimately, our sense of love does not depend on another but on our own willingness to value, prize and cherish the person that we are. And whilst it’s wonderful to have the love of another person, it is our own love that provides the basis for the longest relationship we will ever have in our lives – our own. Unconditional love is the core quality of the heart. When you bring the feeling quality of love to every part of your life and your Self, you are positively changing and charging your inner and outer environment.
Top 4 loving tips to beat the Valentine’s blues.
Write yourself a Valentine’s card or letter.
Write what you love about you, the things you are grateful for and the times when you have overcome great challenges. Tell yourself how much you appreciate you and what you desire for the future.
Stay in your life!
So often we allow ourselves to be pulled in a direction we don’t feel is right for us, but that someone else wants. We let other people’s opinions, doubts and insecurities sway us. Your job is to live your best life – not theirs! Write a personal pledge of love to yourself and vow to commit to it throughout the year.
Reconnect with your passion!
What makes you feel alive? Take time to immerse yourself in the things that light you up. If you love to travel and can’t go out, then read a fabulous magazine on faraway places that lift your spirits. If dancing is your love, then take yourself by the hand, put on your favourite music and dance!
Send your love out into the world.
Tell the people you love that you are thinking of them, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day! Hug your beloved pet and whisper how much you adore him or her. Throw your arms open to the world, look up into the sky and tell the world how beautiful it is and how much you love being here.
Article byAstrid Longhurst, life & body confidence expert, coach and author of Romancing your body: How to fall deeply, passionately and wildly in love with your body and your life!