KEYS TO UNLOCKING HAPPINESS
It’s what we all strive for and often think of it in future terms. We’ll have moments of happiness but will often talk about the future as somehow getting to a position where our situation ‘gives’ us happiness. Finding the right partner or our dream job, winning the lottery or moving to a different country, enjoying better health for example and of course all of those things can add to our happiness. Often when we think like this we see happiness as something outside of ourselves. But the source of true happiness lies within us.
When we realise that happiness has more to do with ourselves and less with the situation, it can be very empowering. Some people, or everyone some of the time, find themselves in positions where our situations are good, where we can enjoy almost all aspects of life but we probably all can remember times when that isn’t the case. Life throws challenges at us and it is at those times when our happiness can be tested. Obviously, we’ll never be happy about losing loved ones, conflict in relationships of financial insecurities BUT while external circumstances can be difficult happiness is more about our own hearts, how we sit with ourselves, how we live our lives on a day to day basis not on particular circumstances at particular times.
I’ve put below just a few things that can help us all unlock greater happiness in our lives.
Accepting We Are
We talk a lot about self-esteem and self-worth – it is a big deal. If we can’t love ourselves we are unlikely to be truly happy. The first step in love is acceptance. Loving ourselves right now as we are today, not waiting till we are fitter, earn more or whatever other constraints we may put on self-love.
Healthy self-love has lots of knock on effects – we give off a different energy, making relationships more positive, we are more likely to take care of ourselves and be able to put boundaries in place to protect our health and well-being. Greater happiness will probably start with self-acceptance for many.
Being Grateful
Please don’t yawn I know I mention it a lot but that is because gratitude is very powerful. In whatever situation we find ourselves if we can make a determined effort to find something, however small, that we can be grateful for it can change our outlook and literally unlock a bit of happiness. And the more we get used to doing that on a daily basis in every situation, not just on the good days the more we’ll feel the benefit in our lives.
Connection
As humans we are wired for connection. Some of us need lots of connections to feel well and happy, others need only very few but we all need those connections. During lockdown many people would acknowledge they suffered from lack of connections, not having those social contacts that keep us well and not being able to access support from our loved ones.
If you remember, Tom Hanks in the film Castaway drew a face on a ball, such is the need for human connection.
So however busy you may be, making time for connections is never a waste of time it’s another one of those things that keeps us well and helps us to feel happy.
All the Basics
In terms of happiness we are likely to experience it more when we are reasonably well physically and mentally. In order to keep ourselves well we need to get the basics right, food, exercise sleep.
Giving
Like gratitude when we put ourselves in aposition where we are givingor helping others, the focus shifts away from ourselves and our own issues to others. Helping others is something that can help us all although if our main ‘job’ involves that then we need to make sure we have time to replenish and restore ourselves.
Purpose and Meaning
As humans we also tend to do better when we feel we have a purpose, a direction a goal or goals to work towards. This is something that lends meaning to our lives. Obviously this will be different for every individual but having something to work towards helps us all – not so we are too focussed on the future that we can’t enjoy the present, but enough so that we feel our lives have meaning.
Appreciating the World
Nature is one of life’s healers and the feeling you can get from being outdoors whether that’s walking by a beach or lake, climbing a mountain or walking in woods, or even enjoying a coffee in the garden with the birds singing nature can have a positive effect on us. So as the weather improves soak up nature whenever you can.
For tips and hints to help you live a more fulfilling positive life join our face book group www.facebook.com/groups/AAYGroup.
